My feet are glued to the tub. That’s what it feels like.
I can’t move. The liquid coming up and out of the drain turns from black to brown to brick to red, and it’s blood. The tub is filling. It climbs the sides of the tub and then runs over.
Everything is stained.
It’s alive.
Real.
Gritty.
Growing.
Changing.
Although I panic, I can’t help but touch it with my fingers. I feel it run through my fingers. It leaves a soft crimson behind.
And then I dip my arms in. I am covered in it.
When I can move my feet again, I lay down in the tub and submerge my entire face under and I come up for air like I’m taking my very first breath.
Blood.
Breath.
Gasping.
That’s what the truth finally coming to the surface feels like.
Like being born again.
–S.
The Messy Middle 🖤 