We’re almost a ghost town.
There’s a chair on the side of the main road,
and glass shattered all over the ground.
The post office is boarded up,
and there’s nobody around.
There’s graffiti on the elementary school,
I wish you’d at least been cruel.
But we faded out like high-school football stars, neon-lit bars, and lightning bugs.
The love decayed over time like teeth do with drugs.
–S.
You’re as sweet as pumpkin pie,
but you make me cry.
You’re as sweet as pumpkin bread,
but you mess with my head,
You’re as sweet as a pumpkin cookie,
I don’t think we can fix this,
could we?
–S.
Around the bend.
On the horizon.
Over the hill.
After that turn.
Change.
Growth.
Birth.
–S.
Will we stay friends?
Maybe.
Are we at the end?
You bet, baby.
Does he love me?
No.
Should I stay?
Go.
Is there someone else?
It’s all a little hazy.
Is she prettier?
Stop being crazy.
What about wittier?
Look, it will get better, but it’s about to get shittier.
–S.
I’m standing in the middle of a field,
making wishes,
dandelion one,
dandelion two,
dandelion three.
I wish slow.
I wish fast.
I wish for us to last.
I wish on dandelion four,
dandelion five,
dandelion six,
but there is no quick fix.
I’m standing in the middle of a field,
reaching for dandelion seven,
eight,
and nine,
I can still make you mine.
–S.
I’m pretending.
It is neverending.
I break myself apart.
I put myself together.
I build myself up, to withstand any weather.
I skip.
I jump.
I walk.
I crawl.
Whatever you want,
I can do it all.
When you’re not looking,
I fall.
I break.
I cry.
How can you be overlooking,
all the cracks?
I’ll hold myself together.
I promise, I’ll try.
–S.
I collect your goodbye.
I place it with the others.
I collect the darkness.
And all that it smothers.
I collect the grief.
And my own disbelief.
I collect the dust.
And the rust.
–S.
Tic, Tac, Toe,
who would know,
that you meant no when you said go?
–S.
I cry enough tears to fill:
a creek,
a river,
a lake,
an ocean.
I name them all after you.
I disappear.
I disappeared.
I was disappearing.
And then he saw me.
In all of my flawed glory.
And I tried.
Tried, but was not successful in tearing my eyes away.
I fade.
I faded.
I was fading.
And our first kiss breathed life into my throat.
To my lungs.
To my stomach.
To my spine.
Ears.
Fingers.
Liver.
Toes.
Eyes.
Thighs.
Arms.
Hair.
And into my heart.
–S.
The Messy Middle 🖤 