All of this shit gets heavy.
I could fill up the back of a chevy.
I could use a pick up,
a lift up.
All of this shit gets heavy.
It could overflow a levee.
I could use a hand,
in the flooding.
I thought it was real,
and it wasn’t.
–S.
Tag: pain
Heartbreak Marmalade.
Mistakes made,
hurt exchanged.
Emotions fade,
outlooks jade.
We’re not good for each other,
but we’re great at making heartbreak marmalade.
–S.
Tradition.
One wrong move and it’s all tumbling down.
52 cards, face down, on the ground.
Your love has always been conditional.
I guess, that’s what we kept traditional.
It’s never been the most sturdy.
You’re always assessing me in a hurry.
I can never be anything new –
because what you thought of me,
was the only thing that could ever be true.
–S.
Death Toll.
I’m losing the war –
that no one knows about.
I’m losing the war –
that’s without a doubt.
I’m losing the war –
going on within me,
just another casualty.
–S.
A Death in 2014.
My eyes haven’t let the tears fall. I am afraid that if they do – they would never stop.
It was an extraordinary day. We were high on coca-cola and all you can eat pizza. We gathered our tickets together and traded them for a whoopee cushion, three lollipops, a soldier with a parachute, a ball with Patrick’s face on it (Spongebob’s BFF), a yellow plastic man that sticks to the wall when you throw him, a Styrofoam plane, a hand fan with a butterfly design, and a metallic blue spring.
We stepped onto the landmines late in the evening, The first blow took us by surprise. Bringing us to our knees. Frantic voices, mouths moving, unheard words. The blast blew our eardrums out.
We didn’t need the ability to hear to know that more blasts were coming. Every hurried step triggered another blast.
He was dead.
And that is what it has felt like every day since we found out.
The landmines keep exploding. The shrapnel surrounds us. Cuts into the deepest parts of our hearts.
People keep talking. Smiling. Embracing us.
Life is what it has always been.
Wake up. Pee. Brush your teeth.
Shower. Dry off. Get dressed.
Eat breakfast. Walk to the car.
Start the car. Go to work.
Finish your shift. Go to school.
Life is what it always was.
Landmines keep exploding.
The earth keeps on turning.
Days will turn into weeks.
Weeks will turn into months.
A year will come.
Our hearing might return.
–S.
The Messy Middle 🖤 