2014.
I’m driving home.
It’s 2:32 in the morning.
It’s chilly in Texas now.
More late at night than during any other time of the day.
I wonder what the weather is like where you are. I turn the radio on, and I hear Justin Timberlake taking back the night.
I wonder what you’re listening to nowadays. Are you playing your piano?
I turn the radio off. I don’t want to take back this night. It’s beautiful. I want to burn it into my memory forever. It’s truly been special and I haven’t done anything special in quite some time. When I am wearing my faux leather black boots, I feel like I can do anything. I wore them tonight. If we still spoke, you’d know about them. I would have sent you a picture. I was dressed in all black with touches of gold jewelry. I felt sexy and mysterious all wrapped into one with a ribbon on it.
I laughed a lot tonight. Real laughter. I meant all of it.
And there was this moment when I was driving home, and the air was blowing aggressively against my face, that I missed you.
I really really missed you.
I wondered if you were at work maybe thinking of me too.
I wanted you to wrap your words around me and bring me warmth the rest of the car ride home.
I wanted you to lay me down on my pillow and sing me to sleep.
Your deep low timbre.
I would do anything to hear your smile – even over the telephone.
I don’t even need to see it, it would be enough.
Just to know that it was my smile. For me. Because of me.
If it’s cold where you are, I wish you warmth.
I wish you the sun.
–S.
I remember those faux leather black boots. I wore them into another love story. They were my favorite boots to dance in downtown. Eventually – one of them started coming apart and I would use black tape to keep it together. I was wearing them in dimly lit bars and clubs, but also didn’t give a fuck if anyone noticed the tape.
I loved those black boots. I LIVED in those black boots.
RIP Faux Leather Black Boots.
The Messy Middle 🖤 