Tag: life

Heart of Texas.

I’m deep in the heart of Texas,

writing poems about my exes.

I’m deep in the heart of Texas,

so lonely, and that’s the consensus.

I’m deep in the heart of Texas,

struggling to fill up all of the seconds.

I’m deep in the heart of Texas,

with no answers, to all of life’s questions.

I’m deep in the heart of Texas,

looking for forgiveness, starting with my confessions.

–S.

Do stray dogs go to heaven?

It feels like I’ve never belonged to anybody but me.

Do stray dogs go to heaven?

I guess I’ll find out and see.

I’ve been searching and I’ve found no trace.

Is home a thing, person, or place?

If you could give me this one kindness, and just let me know.

I need some help knowing where to go.

–S.

dear harrison,

the ac is out in the corolla and summer’s on her way to texas. lately it seems like a sick metaphor for my life. things dying. i find myself alternating between walking in grief or in fear. we try our best to hold on to everything that crosses our paths, but so much of life is having to let go of those same things. i know that on the other side of grief is acceptance or peace, but when you’re in it, it just feels like the world ending.

i listen to every sound the car makes now like stairs creaking in an old house. that’s what fear does. it makes you hyperaware of everything around you. you’re always waiting for the next big scary thing.

fear is a held breath.

i know that the world has ended for me on many nights and begun again in the morning. realistically i know that i’ll be okay. that no matter how i fall, i’ll still be staring up at the sky.

did you know that rock bottom has a basement?

time for me to crawl now.

all my love, suncica

Location: Heaven on Earth

  1. going to a bookstore when it’s raining
  2. swimming in the rain
  3. a gulp of ice-cold water after physical activity
  4. my mother’s laughter
  5. snow falling
  6. my dog placing her paw on me to get my attention
  7. a song that transports me back to a specific moment or time in my life
  8. a smell that transports me back to a specific moment or time in my life
  9. the sweet spot between buzzed and tipsy when everything is warm, fuzzy, and alright
  10. inside jokes
  11. speaking solely through eye contact
  12. the moments between awake and asleep when awareness hasn’t entered the chat yet
  13. a crush
  14. the horizon on the ocean
  15. a shower after being out in the sun and in the water
  16. singing with the audience at a concert
  17. the feeling of seeing one of your favorite artists perform live for the first time
  18. watching a child experience something for the first time
  19. funnel cake at an event
  20. nutella

–S.

Imaginary Wall.

We pass like ships at sea.

A keeper of day.

A keeper of night.

Are you okay?

I don’t know if you’re alright.

We pass like ships at sea.

We don’t touch,

or talk.

We barely interact at all.

I think there’s an imaginary wall.

-S.

Keeper of Secrets.

I am the keeper of your secrets.

I am the one that knows why you laugh,

and why you cry.

I am the one that knows why they left you,

and why they said goodbye.

I am the one that knows what eats you up at night.

I am the one, like a torch, that carries the light.

I am the one that knows about your mother,

your brother,

that guy you like,

and why you haven’t finished school.

Like high school,

you no longer think I’m cool.

-S.

Lost.

I talk to dad about aliens.

I talk to my co-worker about her cancer diagnosis.

I talk to mom about love.

I talk to my brother about none of the above.

I talk to myself about failure.

I try to lose myself in nature.

Friendships get stranger and stranger.

I search for meaning.

I look for signs.

More than anything,

I just feel behind.

-S.