I smile on cue.
Respond with empathy for what’s going on with you.
I laugh when the others do.
I just can’t help but think,
that I’m going through the motions,
more often than a normal person would.
I try to do what someone normal should.
I’d be normal if I could.
–S.
I go further than I should,
with the gas tank on empty.
My paycheck goes quick,
but I make it so slowly.
I run to conclusions,
and I walk with lonely.
I love reading books,
I cringe at my own story.
I could never be anybody’s show pony.
–S.
You don’t know that I exist,
but I can’t resist,
dreaming of you.
You don’t know that I exist,
but in my fantasies,
we do.
You don’t know that I exist,
so I curl my hands into fists,
and I don’t reach for you.
–S.
You’ve always had a way of making me feel small.
It doesn’t matter the distance, you can change everything with just one call.
Your words defy space, they crash through every wall.
You hold all the power, you have the ability to ruin it all.
I can never feel tall.
Your voice in my head makes me stall.
No matter what, you’ll always make sure I fall,
or falter.
Why am I always something to be altered?
–S.
A second of honesty,
and a moment of courage.
I say how I truly feel,
now everything is real.
The adrenaline wears off,
awkward cough.
Courage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,
at least not to me.
–S.
Okay,
I’m leaving.
I guess it just wasn’t our season.
Wrong person.
Wrong time.
I drown myself in an ocean of reasons.
–S.
Hang on.
Don’t let go.
I need a little time.
I’ve been going a little slow.
Don’t leave me by my lonesome.
It’s summer, but I’m feeling frozen.
I don’t know how to handle any of these emotions.
–S.
I have acne on my skin.
Four dollars to my name.
A rumble on the right side of my car.
Stretch marks on my body like scars.
Hair that won’t hold a curl.
Shame that dances in my stomach in a twirl.
Do you think you could love me just like this?
I’m just a girl.
After all.
–S.
My heart is a house of mirrors.
Dark, but it still glimmers.
Haunted, but it still shimmers.
You can adjust the light, like dimmers.
–S.
I’ll always be the one you left.
The one who knew you best.
The one who loved you to rest.
The one whose head fit just right on your chest.
The one whose life you were able to infest.
You’ll always be the one that hurt me the worst.
The one who let me thirst.
The one who was my first.
The one whose hurt I nursed.
The one who made me jump headfirst.
–S.
The Messy Middle 🖤 