It feels like I’ve never belonged to anybody but me.
Do stray dogs go to heaven?
I guess I’ll find out and see.
I’ve been searching and I’ve found no trace.
Is home a thing, person, or place?
If you could give me this one kindness, and just let me know.
I need some help knowing where to go.
–S.
You stayed in the catastrophe, of the aftermath of me.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
If you stay with me, you’ll turn to rust.
If you don’t leave now, you’ll see.
–S.
I was imploding on myself when we were together.
I thought you couldn’t see what was happening to me,
I took your blindness as a small kindness,
but your silence felt like sirens.
–S.
I let you hurt me.
I was numb, so I wanted to feel.
I let you hurt me.
It was wrong, but I wanted it still.
I let you hurt me.
You moved on, but I don’t think I will.
–S.
All of this shit gets heavy.
I could fill up the back of a chevy.
I could use a pick up,
a lift up.
All of this shit gets heavy.
It could overflow a levee.
I could use a hand,
in the flooding.
I thought it was real,
and it wasn’t.
–S.
All the honey in the world isn’t as sweet as you,
Stuck and sticky, too.
Dessert in human form,
powdered sugar dust-storm,
this can’t be the norm.
–S.
I learned that it never turns out how you think it will.
I learned that there are still moments that can make time stand still.
I learned that death can happen on selfish hill.
I learned that with certain people you can never quite get your fill.
–S.
Over a slice of cheesecake, I’m reminded of all of the love we didn’t get to make.
Over a slice of cheesecake, I’m reminded of all of the sweetness we didn’t get to taste.
Over a slice of cheesecake, I’m reminded of all of the pictures we didn’t get to take.
Over a slice of cheesecake, I’m reminded of heartache.
–S.
We’re the only survivors,
in the wreckage of you and I.
Red flare shot into the sky.
Lit up all the pain,
surprised I didn’t die.
SOS,
we made a fucking mess.
We’re the only survivors,
in the wreckage of you and I.
–S.
Sometimes it feels like all the goodness in the world couldn’t eradicate the darkness inside of me.
Sometimes it feels like all the lenses in the world couldn’t help me see.
Sometimes it feels like all the meditation in the world wouldn’t let me be.
Sometimes it feels like there is no free.
–S.
The Messy Middle 🖤 